I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just google imaged poop.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
