the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
