dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Drake has all the answers
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
