remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
