How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
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first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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