I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
