could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
