the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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