Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We are all done wearing pants today
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.