Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.