Barsexuality is the new black.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape