We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
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