we're making bets on your personal life
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
