brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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