Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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