whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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