why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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