so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
