the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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