I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize