remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
