Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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