She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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