you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
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I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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