I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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