the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
