ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
