like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
