Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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