Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
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She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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