haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
