There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
