is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
