Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize