i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
