i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
