the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
