sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
