To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
wakey wakey hands off snakey
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
