Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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