His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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