he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
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