If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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