Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
