"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
When did angry sex become our thing?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
