marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
