All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
