ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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