FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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