It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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