They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
