Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I need to align my fucking chakras
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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