Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
