he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
