What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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