im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
