i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
