Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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