Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
