what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
