I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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